Former top-five singles player and current world no. 23 Jelena Ostapenko, seen herepolishing her sales pitch, is the living embodiment of David Mamet’s eternal mantra,Always Be Closing.
The 28-year-old Latvian, who never met a line-call she agreed with unless it was in her favor, is making the world a fairer place (for herself alone) by selling shit on an Instagram page (she has three; one’s devoted to things she bakes). And when I say “shit,” I mean used perfume samples, for €5-€10 a pop. Before you exclaim at that price for a mere tubule of Maison Francis Kurkdjian scent, consider that it will be coming to you from Latvia, lovingly packaged by an absolute juggernaut of a human being.
Scrolling through the items on sale, what strikes us isn’t the sheer gall of it all—I mean, that goes without saying—but rather the way she’s unashamedly daring us all to roll oureyes at her taste, her lifestyle, her consumption habits and her sense of entitlement.
This is exactly as unhinged as we at Racquet expect Ostapenko to be at all times; if you expect less (or more?) of her, you can get straight into the bin. We feel uniquely qualified to judge in this matter, given that we gave her one of our limited-edition MSCHF Global Supply Chain Telephone bags AT HER REQUEST, only to see it up for sale, untouched, on her page for €300.
There’s cojones, and then there’s whatever this is. Hawkeye might be forever stackedagainst her, but dammit, Ostapenko is going to wrest back the favor of the gods onewaistless eponymous tennis dress at a time, for offers in good faith from Believers in herDMs.
Looking for men’s Balmain sneakers “in good condition?” That’ll be €200. First, though,you’ll need to submit a request to follow @j.o.clothes1997, because not just anyonegets to pay for the privilege of aiming the arc of the moral universe straight at JelenaOstapenko. Here’s hoping she lets you in.
